I’m always afraid that bad things will happen later when I’m extremely happy. (refer: Murphy’s Law)

Well – it’s true, it’s happening now. I’m not exactly happy anymore. & I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m so tired.

Today, I doubt myself, even more. I am definitely on a flighting mode now. (think: fight-or-flight response) & I don’t like it.

 

From yfrh.tumblr.com

Oh wow! I have never thought of this *mindfucked

So I guess you could always blame it on the drug you took in the other reality for having a bad day/life. x

I’m trying to juggle so many things in my life right now that I am so exhausted. It doesn’t help that I have filed my income tax wrongly and got lectured by daddy. Sigh.

Sometimes, I really think I’m not used to this whole adulthood & responsibility. But other days, I feel totally pumped & glad that I’m an adult now.

Who am I kidding? I’m a kid, actually. I have serious Peter Pan Syndrome. Urm, except that I’m not a male. Dafuq.

Most days, I really hate the fact that I grew up so quickly. I wanna be that kid again. I don’t like the responsibilities that come with adulthood yet I like the freedom of being an adult. I have a lot of freedom in making decisions, like what I want to eat and what I want to buy. Not exactly having freedom over vacation spots tho because parents still think I’m only 13. In fact, I think they just realized that my eldest sister is no longer 18 and is married now. So I think the day for them to realize I am no longer 13 is the day I get married officially. (I think Duffy is sweating buckets now)

It’s such an irony that I did Psychology considering I always contradict myself. Or maybe that is the latent reason I did Psychology. Well, you know, trying to understand myself better. Meh.

I also hate that I’m such a thinker. I think so much that I confuse myself. Some days, I let the thoughts flow themselves and I don’t care about it. But some times I care too much that I let them affect my days in the most terrible way ever.

I am weak but I am also strong.

I always cry but I stand up very quickly.

I think I am really stupid but sometimes I think I am really smart. -___-

Yeah, confusing. I think I’m still having a kid’s mentality but I’m stuck in an adult’s body now so I have to act like how an adult would act and do what an adult would do.

Right, right, I love all things beautiful. Like, cupcakes. Like, macaroons. Like, rainbows. Like, unicorns. By the way I really wanted to try the macaroons from Whisk! Heard that they’re not bad. Not the best but not bad.

But first, I’m gonna go back to the gray state of my world which consist of serious work and all the formal & proper communication and tasks.

/put on a mask & pretend serious

I shall write more. Till then. In case I don’t return by Friday, you peeps have a good weekend ahead! <3

My white sparkly top & red cigarette pants are from Topshop, beige pumps from Eclipse, brown belt from Miss Selfridge, clutch is (obviously) from LV, armor ring from ASOS, disco ball ring – can’t remember where I got it from.

So! Finally my birthday was not jinxed! It was quite perfect, in fact! I’m not even exaggerating when I said it’s the best birthday I’ve had in a very long time.

It’s started off with a package. Wayyy before my birthday, I received a package all the way from Tokyo! Right, no prize for guessing who sent it!

Huge ass parcel from darl & her boy!

All the snacks!!! She even bought some beauty products for me too! Not only that! She even labelled the stuff with Post-It in English because I cannot read Japanese to save my life. OMG why do I have good friend like this! T___T

It’s the family’s tradition to have family’s meal together on birthdays. Usually dad let us to choose wherever we want to have lunch/dinner at. This year, I’ve decided to have it at Rakuzen for lunch with my family & Duffy on the Sunday before because actual day was on Monday. It’s also the first proper family meal with my brother-in-law!

Duffy got this cake for me. It’s supposed to be a surprise for me! Cake #1.

Mandatory birthday portrait.

If you wonder why the candle is so long, as in it doesn’t look like the normal candle you used for birthday cakes, it’s because he only realized that the candle wasn’t provided the night before or so and he tried looking for the normal candle high & low at Empire Shopping Gallery but all in vain. So I told him to just grab whatever candle he can find, but not those people use to pray for God la. -__-

Making a wish while Duffy went facepalm.

Not sure what suggestion Duffy was giving… I looked like I didn’t care because I wanna see my rainbow cake inside!!!

I like this picture because I like how Duffy was helping there!

I looked like a crazy girl there but that’s because I was too happy & excited to see my rainbow cake!

I have no idea why my face looked like that… But I think I’m kinda talented in making my lips in downward curve!

(I have a lot of pictures with me making that face, I shall make a compilation of that one day! You’d see how talented I am in doing that!)

♥__♥ MY RAINBOW CAKE!!! ♥__♥

/puke rainbows & unicorns all over!

Rainbow cake was/is like a hit lately, it’s all over tumblr, pinterest and what’s not! The moment I saw it, I know I have to have it! So yeah, I’ve been wanting a rainbow cake for the longest time! I even thought of getting one just to eat for fun. Then I went on a search! Tried searching where & how I could get it or customize it. But to no avail.

It was really depressing. I have friends asking me to make it on my own. Sounds even worse, bake a birthday cake for myself. Wow, I seriously cannot take it! I’m very princess in this context! I think that the birthday girl/boy should be pampered on the birthday! That definitely doesn’t include baking a birthday cake for yourself.  & it’s also quite impossible because I don’t have oven at home. FML.

Duffy even asked me why I wanted it so badly and how I’d know if it tastes good. I’m like, how do YOU know it’s not good! *defensive

So I thought to myself that probably no one is gonna get that rainbow cake for me on my birthday and I’m gonna do it on my own! Until one day, while I was having random conversation with Duffy, he blurted out that he had a surprise for me and if I wanna know about it.

Seriously, what kind of question is that?  OF COURSE I WANT TO KNOW!

So he told me he actually got it customized and going to collect it the next day. Yeah FHL for spoiling the surprise. HAHAHA Anyway we prayed hoped wished that it’d turn out to be fine since he had not try any cake this lady made.

It turned out to be more than “just fine”. Personally, I think it’s quite delicious. Not too sweet and I didn’t feel like I was eating something very fake – as in OD of coloring. AND IT LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL!     

Yay! A proper family portrait in a while.

Awesome meal with the wonderful people in my life.

Off to Pavilion after lunch.

Le end of pre-26th, you can also view my pre-26th’s vlog.

On my actual birthday, I went to work! Wanted to take the day off but I think it’d be quite wasteful since I did not have any plan for that day and might as well just be productive and go to work.

Fettuccine with duck confit // birthday cake (cake #2)

My co-workers paid for my lunch and bought me a birthday cake! The pasta was awesome! They wanted to get mille crepe at first but they were not available/sold out so we had to settle for this one from Cake Sense. 

Dinner was with Duffy at this place that serves pork! Forgot to bring a proper camera out and it’s quite dark inside the restaurant so I didn’t bother to take picture of us. But dinner was delicious! YUM!

Days later I also received a birthday from Rachael. Totally took me by surprise because I’m not that close to her yet! I just know her recently. Seriously, I keep meeting nice people these days!!! T____T

Bff decided to put up a post-birthday celebration with me the weekend after. This time, we had dinner at Ben’s General Foodstore and partied at our usual playground with Shirley and her friends! I love my girlfriends!

Us at dinner! ♥

Look ! It’s my awkward smile again -__-

My marshmallow birthday cake. Cake #3.  

Love it when everyone dressed up!

Tee-hee :”)

On the way to our playground!

Girls just wanna have fun ♥

I’m putting 2 pictures of us posing almost the same way because we didn’t have pictures together after that! Clarification as below!

With Duffy! ♥ ♥

After that was quite a blur & fast-paced night. I only remembered I was busy downing whatever drinks my friends handed over to me. Neat, on the rock, with coke, or with green tea. I wanted shots, but was quite afraid I’d get drunk. Besides that, I had to help Duffy to drink if anyone tried to ask him to drink (too much) because he was responsible for my safety (& yes, he’s quite a lousy drinker /facepalm). Then we went to the podium and danced as usual. I love dancing with my girls! That is why I didn’t take a lot of pictures and I also think that it’s because I’m so used to bff/Jo being the photographer. I should really start to bring out my camera more often!

With Rachael!

New found dancing partner!

Caught in action!

I was quite worried that Duffy might get bored or tired. If you don’t already know, he’s that kind of guy who likes to chill and live a non-hectic lifestyle. Unlike me, I like to party. But guess what! He told me he enjoyed seeing me enjoying myself! How sweet is that!

/melted into a puddle of butter

When I was really tipsy!

Partied til about 4 in the morning, had Maggi Goreng with smeared makeup. It has really been a while. I miss crazy nights like this.

Gifts from BFF & Shirley! Thank you so much, babes!

Received a belated birthday card from Wei b* all the way from Taipei! *___* I miss her doodles!

& my birthday is officially ended with receiving another belated birthday card… from none other than my lovely Duffy. 

I can so imagine everyone who reads this have a lot of question marks popping up above their heads!  

Let’s just say that Duffy is a very forgetful person. His memory is that bad, so goldfish that I still cannot fathom til today. I witnessed & experienced it myself, so I am not defending him for this. So after about a month after my birthday, I just casually told him that I was actually a lil disappointed that he didn’t give me a birthday card. (Yeah I love receiving cards!!! Bff & co. even customized a birthday card for me before!) He looked very concerned but I told him it’s ok because I’m alright now.

The next day, he came to pick me up for dinner and as usual, he stood outside of the car waiting for me, he told me there’s a mail in the mailbox when I went out. I instantly felt something’s up! But I didn’t bother much so I just casually said that I’ll check when I come home later. & he was totally like “Dafuq you don’t wanna check now?? How can you just leave the mail like this!” So I was like “HAHA I know it’s you who put it there la!” and proceeded to pick it up. & yes, it’s this birthday card! He wrote so much in the card! It’s really been a while since I had a birthday card that’s filled with words! Like literally!!! I still keep reading it.   

This year, this birthday, I am so blessed that so many people love me and celebrated with me. I couldn’t have asked for more.