I’ve been through & through with this for the longest time. I’ve been meaning to let it go for the longest time. Yet I keep pretending nothing’s ever happened like we’re all good and I keep staying in the friendship. The thing is… I really don’t know how to deal with the friendship when I have a fallout with my supposedly best friend. I thought of all the possible solutions and possible root cause to our problem.
It is not working.
It’s been years. I’d told myself that it’s okay because people drifted sometimes and I should be glad that we shared those precious memories together already. Is that all? Really? Then why does my heart ache like this? When does this happen? Why did it happen in the first place? How? & who is responsible for all of these?
I have talked to a few people, people like my parents & sister. The best solution seems to be leaving the friendship (or rather the said friend) and move on. It is also seems to be best not to talk it out with said friend because we’ve been there, done that, & nothing’s changed. Also, most likely, said friend will hate me even if I tell her the truth. That truth, will stay with me, tho. I see no point in telling her the truth too. However, we have too many common friends and our paths still cross. I cannot just cut her/them out like that. It’s unfair to anyone because others did not upset me. Therefore, I am making myself upset by faking to be happy to be in the circle. But I’m really not anymore.
Sometimes when I recall all those happy moments, I wonder if I ever expect us to become like this now.