The moment I published my previous post, I knew instantly I may be already on the route of losing that friendship. Somehow, it crossed my mind that I was being silly because she may not read it anyway and even if she did, how would she know that’s her I’m talking about? I did not mention any name, did I? Or was the context so obvious? & maybe that’s the mutual feeling we shared in the recent years that she’d know instantly it’s her when she read it?
Later that day, I received her messages. I was very surprised that she actually still read(s?) my blog. To be honest, I have the thought of shutting this blog down for good for several times but I just thought this could be an avenue for me to write. Whoever is interested may read them posts. Then I sighed, not knowing what to reply.
Sometimes I really wished that one of us is staying in another place, so we can just go oh well, things don’t work and we’re staying in different cities and we don’t meet often and our paths don’t cross anymore so yeah thanks for the good times & bye. Unfortunately, things don’t happen this way. So I told her my very honest answer. It sure felt weird to talk to your supposedly best friend that way. It still feels weird to me. I have no idea if that’s the end of the friendship. I don’t know if we’re still friends at all. But I somehow feel relieved. That, is odd too.
Now – I’m really not sure if you’re still reading this. I don’t even know what to say anymore. It’s so much harder to move on from a friend than from a boyfriend. I think I’m pretty qualified to say that since I had several failed romantic relationships and now a friendship. I wish you nothing but happiness. Things may not work out between us and maybe we’re not friends anymore, but I choose to believe that you’re still the kind friend I’ve met years ago.